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“So from a parenting perspective,” says Connolly, who is also the director of the La Marsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution, “you want to know who your kids are friends with.” Kids like the security of having their friends around.“When you’re going out with someone, it’s much easier to be yourself when your friends are there too,” says Katie, 15, of Carleton Place, Ont.A couple may never see or speak to each other outside of school, although they may well enjoy the new status accorded them by their peers.These types of short-lived pairings — relationships in name only — jump in numbers by grades six and seven, when alcohol increasingly becomes part of many parties.Having supportive friends around can exert a powerful moderating influence.But by the same token, a tough, aggressive peer group can have a negative influence, such as tolerating dating violence.” Catherine: “OK.” The two Toronto-area teens have been going out since last April, although rarely on their own.In their group of eight friends, the four boys and four girls are paired off into couples, but prefer to spend their time all together, sitting around and talking at one another’s houses, grabbing something to eat, going to a movie. “We just feel better when we’re together,” Catherine explains.

Regardless, there are still many, many kids who haven’t the slightest interest in going out.This causes parents to worry, and rightly so, as many kids are uncomfortable with or unable to handle the intimacy that comes with slow dancing or mixed-gender pyjama parties.But in terms of friendships between boys and girls, Connolly says that simply having friends of both sexes can be healthy and positive.“That’s just in the movies,” says Brett, 14, of Aurora, Ont.“What happens in real life is you’ll be hanging out with your immediate circle of friends, including your girlfriend, and you go, ‘What’s everybody doing Friday night?

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