Discuss dating history
Search your heart and root out self-righteousness so that you’re not blind to see that God may be giving you marry your partner who has a sexual history, you will not be the best person in their life in every area of life. It is way too easy to become obsessed with a partner’s sexual history.
If your partner says, “I don’t think about my ex,” it really could be true.
It would be a terrible violence to give someone’s past sins power over them that they didn’t previously have.
Give them the grace of knowing that their past doesn’t define them.
Jesus says, “Her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke ). If dating is moving towards marriage, and you learn of a sexual history, recognize that you were never pursuing this person so that you could be the — for as long as they both shall live.
Yes, the person with the past, if their sexual activity is recent, needs time to heal before they enter into another romantic relationship.Here are six truths to help still your heart, quiet the lies, and proceed with compassionate caution and wisdom in a relationship with someone who has a sexual history. Whether you measure up to anyone else or not, if you buy into the lie that love should be quantified, you destroy real intimacy.When you measure your lovability by trying to quantify your sexuality, you diminish your humanity.A dating couple likely will not make sufficient promises or decisions or resolves within the structure of their relationship to fully address a person’s sexual past. Don’t try to resolve the conversation about sexual past in the dating relationship, but have it to the extent that it’s appropriate.If this topic has been especially painful or difficult for you, it might be helpful to commit to refrain from speaking about it except with an older couple or in premarital counseling.