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but that doesn’t stop them from trying to force themselves into the model because they Trying to fit into a personality type that’s so diametrically opposed from our real self is like trying to force yourself into shoes that don’t fit; you’re uncomfortable at best and the potential benefits are vastly outweighed by downsides.When you’re trying to build the life you’ve always dreamed of, you need to do so in a way that’s harmonious with who you , not for who you think you’re should be.There’s nothing less appealing to a potential partner than feeling as though that they’re nothing more than a warm hole or body that’s filling a slot marked “girlfriend”.The more desperate you are to get what you want, whether it be sex or a relationship, the more likely it will slip through your fingers.

Nobody likes feeling like an interchangeable, anonymous cog, easily replaceable and ultimately unmemorable.In short: your own desires are sabotaging your efforts to slake them.As paradoxical as it may seem, you will never have better success at getting laid or finding a relationship by had it right: you get laid more by not trying.It can be tempting to rationalize this away: after all, why wouldn’t someone take being desired as a compliment?But then: when you say will do, you’re saying that you don’t give a damn about the individual.

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