She had been involved in some heavy foreplay but it took her a while to find someone in the Church to tell her that was seriously sinful.The purpose of this leaflet, then, is to lay out clearly what sort of behavior is sinful, and what alternative behaviors are warm, healthy and foundational for a good marriage.Furthermore, it is likely that the man (at least) will get aroused and seek to extend the arousal.This seeking, of course, would be sinful by the Catechism definition above.What, then would be another reasonable criterion by which to judge? If an activity is by its nature highly stimulating, then it belongs only in marriage.This would include French kissing and touching sensitive areas of the body. Now, there are some promoters of chastity who propose never kissing until the wedding day.
Prolonged kissing, even if done in a tender, affectionate way, is a way of enjoying each other, more than communicating nearness or solidarity.Again, it seems that the same principle would apply.He should simply ignore the unintended arousal and finish the hug.For that reason some moderate brief unsought arousal can be quite licit, as long as it is not sought. Hug them to manifest a true selfless love for them, knowing that such hugs are often quite therapeutic to the young.One seminarian asked me if he should stop hugging the young women who wanted to hug him, because at times he had looked forward to the physical buzz he might experience. In fact, one sign of sexual maturity in a man is to be able to make a habit of ignoring unwanted reactions to women.